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Anti-networking is the art of getting what you want by never coming close to asking for it. The key to the anti-networking approach is to impress without imploring. The goal is the one day the contact, who has grown fond of you and is impressed by you and your integrity, will notify you that he or she knows of a job opening, and will be willing to recommend you if you are interested.

This tip comes from well known author and blogger, Cal Newport and his book, "How to Win at College". (highly recommend)

As I read this piece of advice, labeled "66 - Don't Network", I was initially was shocked and disappointed. After all, I had read so much on networking and promoting your personal brand, from people like Dan Erwin and Tim Sanders. But as I reread the whole two page entry it became clear to me that as a student/lacrosse player/teenager, I really have nothing too valuable (besides time) to offer to a more experienced businessman, speaker, etc. Cal Writes,

Let's say that I would in the telecommunications industry, and you are a college student. I probably don't care about you. This is a pragmatic decision because there is no mutual benefit. You want a job. There is no doubt of your goal. As a student there is no really other reason why would be proactively trying to meet me, and quite frankly giving out jobs to recent graduates is not all that exciting.

Lesson

As "harsh" as this observation this and as I thought more about this, I chose to incorporate this advice into my everyday life. I decided that every interaction that I have with people (in person, over the phone, on social networks, etc), I would do my best to "impress without imploring." I don't mean sucking up to people, pretending to be someone your not or trying to please everyone (you can't). 

It's about being genuine, and showing, not telling, a person how impressive you truly are. Your impressiveness can lead the other party to take a variety of actions in the long term.

Offer you a job. 

Come to you in a time of need.

Recommend you.

Form a close relationship.

Do nothing.*

(Occurs most often, but what harm have you done?)

I've personally implemented this technique on the golf course. As a caddy and pro shop worker at a local country club, there just aren't too many options for advancement within the organization and thus saw a great opportunity to "anti-network" with many successful members. By viewing every round as an unofficial personal interview, I looked to quietly and humbly impress them so that after every round they would think to themselves, "Wow, this kid has his stuff together and in a few years time I would love for him to work for me." 

One notable thing to mention: I didn't look at every member that I worked for as having a $ sign hovering over the top of their head and I don't think you should do that to anyone. I most enjoy knowing the fact that I have formed closed friendships with many of them and as an example I often play competitive golf with them as an equal partner. Because I was honestly looking to connect with them, countless advancement opportunities have arisen.

Unassumingly impress others through hard work, generosity and passion. Know that every action you take and word you say is judged by someone, and that someone could well be the person to recommend, assist, or teach you in the future.

I appreciate you stopping by my blog. Feel free (compelled) to make a comment, offer a suggestion or question. Please subscribe if you would like more thought provoking ideas and observations. Thanks

Ryan